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basildestinyTalk about your blah day!
For starters, I've decided I need to wear my engagement ring on my... oh... say... left hand. That might be nice. It's really such a beautiful diamond. So lovely! LOL I had Matt reapply it to the correct finger.
Work was the pits. More call center garbage. We're slammed all day. And then I get to sit through team meetings in which we discuss how we need to be dynamic or some other company catch phrase which used to mean something, but now means oh so very little to me because no one wants to actually interpret the company phrases, they just want to use them like jargon. I wonder if I could just ask why we can't use jargon on calls, but it's ok in team meetings. Or my team asks a question and my coach diverts it to "one on one" time. Which is supposed to happen every week, but I haven't had in weeks. Or hear about all of the great opportunities in the company which I don't want to take because I might have to work with people I don't like.
Which all leads me to my big realization. That I need to be living with a little bit more radical faith. The kind of faith, as my pastor described two weeks ago, that if God doesn't come through, I fall flat on my face. Not the testing kind of faith, which we discussed this past Sunday. The kind of doubting faith of "I'll believe if only God would..." I just need to have faith that whatever I do, God will come through or he will teach me something. It's a really tough way to live that I am extremely nervous about doing. It involves first of all, putting my inhibitations aside and talking to people that I know I cannot trust. Maybe taking career path choices that don't sound that intelligent, but having faith that if I was meant to do it, it will happen. If I could stop interferring enough to let Matt and I develop, I can do this.
I had a wonderful conversation with an "old" friend last night. I had no idea that she had faith! It was a lovely surprise and a very pleasant conversation. Thanks for saying hi!
Sometimes I feel this song...
This week, I prayed, one time
My phone, it rang, I put You on the other line
And now my thoughts they drift around
My knees remain unacquainted with the ground
Unless my faith is put to the test and I am forced to bow
Although I'm in this flesh it doesn't mean You shouldn't have the best
from me, from me
[Chorus:]
Even when my eyes are dry
even when my soul is tired
even when my hands are heavy, I will lift them up to You
It's not about how I feel, oh Lord I am here for You
I exist for you
I close my eyes but all I see
Is a background of black, bouncy squiggly lines
And this week's mistakes coming back to mind but
I will lift my voice and make a joyful sound
Forget about me, I only get me down
Although I cannot see it doesn't mean I shouldn't sing to You, to You
[Chorus]
You've given me Your life and have held mine together yet I find
Excuses to slouch in my pew
But when glory divine
Is sitting in my very presence, the least that I can do
Is give my all to You, give my all to You
Probably why I enjoy that song so much.
~Bas I'll try not to slouch in my pew so much (if my church actually had pews) Destiny
For starters, I've decided I need to wear my engagement ring on my... oh... say... left hand. That might be nice. It's really such a beautiful diamond. So lovely! LOL I had Matt reapply it to the correct finger.
Work was the pits. More call center garbage. We're slammed all day. And then I get to sit through team meetings in which we discuss how we need to be dynamic or some other company catch phrase which used to mean something, but now means oh so very little to me because no one wants to actually interpret the company phrases, they just want to use them like jargon. I wonder if I could just ask why we can't use jargon on calls, but it's ok in team meetings. Or my team asks a question and my coach diverts it to "one on one" time. Which is supposed to happen every week, but I haven't had in weeks. Or hear about all of the great opportunities in the company which I don't want to take because I might have to work with people I don't like.
Which all leads me to my big realization. That I need to be living with a little bit more radical faith. The kind of faith, as my pastor described two weeks ago, that if God doesn't come through, I fall flat on my face. Not the testing kind of faith, which we discussed this past Sunday. The kind of doubting faith of "I'll believe if only God would..." I just need to have faith that whatever I do, God will come through or he will teach me something. It's a really tough way to live that I am extremely nervous about doing. It involves first of all, putting my inhibitations aside and talking to people that I know I cannot trust. Maybe taking career path choices that don't sound that intelligent, but having faith that if I was meant to do it, it will happen. If I could stop interferring enough to let Matt and I develop, I can do this.
I had a wonderful conversation with an "old" friend last night. I had no idea that she had faith! It was a lovely surprise and a very pleasant conversation. Thanks for saying hi!
Sometimes I feel this song...
This week, I prayed, one time
My phone, it rang, I put You on the other line
And now my thoughts they drift around
My knees remain unacquainted with the ground
Unless my faith is put to the test and I am forced to bow
Although I'm in this flesh it doesn't mean You shouldn't have the best
from me, from me
[Chorus:]
Even when my eyes are dry
even when my soul is tired
even when my hands are heavy, I will lift them up to You
It's not about how I feel, oh Lord I am here for You
I exist for you
I close my eyes but all I see
Is a background of black, bouncy squiggly lines
And this week's mistakes coming back to mind but
I will lift my voice and make a joyful sound
Forget about me, I only get me down
Although I cannot see it doesn't mean I shouldn't sing to You, to You
[Chorus]
You've given me Your life and have held mine together yet I find
Excuses to slouch in my pew
But when glory divine
Is sitting in my very presence, the least that I can do
Is give my all to You, give my all to You
Probably why I enjoy that song so much.
~Bas I'll try not to slouch in my pew so much (if my church actually had pews) Destiny
