It's so funny, you'll kill yourself laughing!

[basildestiny]

I watched The Cell finally. I hate those psychological thrillers. I hate them because they're really awesome and I really adore them, but I feel like a sick freak for liking them so much. The ending is totally lame...or totally enigmatic! I say Katherine has Carl in her brain and he takes over Edward and starts all over! Woohoo! It's just like the Ring only more sick and twisted.

My mom's brother died. She's pretty sad about it all because she's been so busy with her own life that she never got a chance to visit with him. His health has been detioriating for a while. I'm pretty sad about it for her. I know what it's like to lose a brother. It's sad that I never even got to know him and that he was pretty destitute in his final years.

I think that maybe this is my problem. I'm too honest all of the time. And I open myself up all the time. I'm not afraid of getting hurt. I know getting hurt is inevitable. On occassion I lash out or react to the pain, but I can't stop myself. I want to show the world that it is ok to trust and be honest and care. But it gets me nowhere.

Could I be frustrated from lack of psychoanalysis in my life? I had a crappy phone call at work today and I couldn't even let myself vent to my supervisor! I just didn't want to force him to hear my rantings about some stupid phone call. Who cares? It was just a call. But I just had to shout about it or it was going to ruin the rest of my day. And yet I had to force myself to say what was bothering me even after my supervisor says that I should vent to him because that's his job! I can open myself up for the whole to see, poke, prod, and dissect, but I can't trust someone else to share my pain? Of course I can't trust someone to share my pain. Who would want to share my pain? Who has ever said "Hey! Throw your pain on me?" Very, very few people who I hold very dear. I usually get the ol' "waiting for my turn to speak" conversation or the good ol' "Hugs!! Chin up! Life's grand!" conversation.

Of course life is grand, but we no longer validate hard times? How would we be able to define grand times without the hard times? Is it really so difficult to nod your head and say "Yes, I acknowledge your frustration." I was venting to my supervisor and he reminded me of something important today. Sometimes we just have to vent. And if I don't need help and just want to vent, that's all I have to say. He won't give advice if I know what to do. My jaw hits the ground that people still do that. And it just reaffirms my belief that US Cellular rocks! Too bad the whole call center is going through a shift change and I may lose yet another coach. I'm quite down hearted about it all. I was getting adjusted to my team and my coach and there's a chance that it could all change. Sure, nothing remains the same, but if things constantly change how am I to learn?

Hector was the first of the gang with a gun in a his hand, the first to do time, the first of the gang to die!
~Bas/J Dawg

Comments

[nikgirl.livejournal.com]

The Cell sucked and so do you for liking it.
Having said that, your outlook on negative feelings reminds me of this poet I've just read. Walt Whitman. He's like a huge perve with a giant white beard, but in one of his poems he writes:

"Have you heard that it was good to gain the day?
I also say it is good to fall, battles are lost in the same spirits in which they are won."

Isn't that nice? Both winning and losing are essential to our life. Why didn't anyone teach that to Brandy? Happiness, sadness, having J-Lo stick her fat ass in your brain and drown your inner child... it's all a part of the giant circle.

Of course, he also wrote:
"The scent of these arm-pits aroma finer than a prayer"
Which is just disturbing and gross.

[basildestiny]

I never liked Whitman. He was pompous and full of himself. "You can only depend on yourself" so go live in your neighbor's backyard. Huh?

The Cell is awesome. I'm sorry that you don't think so. :P ;)

I thought I would hate it because of J Lo. But actually I liked it because Vincent D'Onofrio has now taken up residence in her mind and also she sucks! Haha! Go Jo Lo!

[nikgirl.livejournal.com]

No no, that's Thoreau who wants you to live in the wilderness. He totally copied Emerson.

I hate it cuz that guy would wank off hanging by meat hooks. And that albino dog was ugly. And the part where they shreded that horse was gross too. All the blood in that bathtub. Those freaky black lite goblins...

And WORST OF ALL was that part where J-Lo was smoking pot in her underwear! Oh god, kill me.

;)

Saving Silverman is a much better movie.

[basildestiny]

Haha I just liked it because J-Lo was just as stupid as ever. And I imagine it with the unhappy ending where she turns into a real bitch and the kid's mind is overtaken by evil Carl thanks to J-bitch.