Sex, sex, sex
Thursday, October 27th, 2005 05:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
basildestinyThe sexual revolution. The feminist movement. Porn. Bah! I was even looking over my friends list and without even thinking for a word to describe the friending frenzy this phrase sprung to mind "A friending orgy!" It was meant to be funny and I just wondered what was with the fixation with sex?
Is it because I'm going to be married in twenty-two days and will get to partake in that activity? I am obsessing? Or is it society that is obsessing?
I went to read some articles since my friends aren't posting and I still hesitate to add friends that I might woefully ignore! Worthy friends should not be ignored. And I do far too little commenting already! I do read all of your entries! *ahem* But I went looking for things on the interwebs to read. And I found an article chastizing "middle-aged traditionalists" for saying that women aren't enjoying their newly discovered sexual freedom because it has turned women into the predators just like men. I found the writer's wording to be interesting. The man she was chastizing wasn't even labeled a conservative, but rather a tradionalist. It's all symantics after all, but I thought that was a unique choice.
I will never profess to be a researcher. However, I've read livejournals, I've read articles by people my age. The concensus is that good men are hard to find these days. No one pursues their woman like a knight in shining armor. There's no romantic fighting for her love. And I hear these mournful sighs put out to the wind all the time.
Every time I read one of these, I wonder what the woman did to signal to the man that's what he needed to do. I was discussing this with my fiance last night. Obviously, there are some real men out there. I know quite a few actually. One is deathly afraid of women. He wants to get married, doesn't want to be celebate for the rest of his life (that's right, ladies, he's actually managed to stay a virgin his entire life and no he's not a freakazoid), but he doesn't want to be rejected. He's not a social guy. He'd make a great husband. But he can't read women. I feel for the guy. I know he needs some real signals from women, but I know he'll be lucky to find them. Maybe one day he'll develop courage.
It just leads me to wonder what happened to the whole courtship game. It's all about living together and sleeping together before the wedding day with no plans to wed set in stone. Those statistics about people who live together are more likely to end in divorce, you know those? Well that's due to couples moving in together on a "trial basis" and then never moving out because it would be too much trouble to disentagle their history. So the next step is reached instead and eventually someone decides that it would be better to end this relationship than continue, but that's years and years later after misery.
I'm no expert here. I'm just spitballing thoughts and ideas. I'd like to get some things on paper to feel accomplished. Maybe start a discussion, but I doubt it. I read a lot of journal entries and some I just want to argue with, but I just don't want to argue. Debating could be fun, but I don't have the energy to put into really wanting to prove a point.
To the discussion Matthew and I had, we talked about finding the right guy and women wanting the guy to know she likes him and wanting him to do a bit of work and chase after her. Prove his love so to speak. Our conclusion was to give him a signal that you like him, something obvious. And if he acknowledges you, but doesn't act, move on! Find another guy, ladies. Yeah, easier said than done, I know. Still, it would have been nice to have known this. I wouldn't change my past, but I do pass on this bit of knowledge to the current generation.
I like to come from the old school generation. I would have liked to have not been so forward with my thinking. (Is that like a little bit of regret coming from me?) It would have been nice to have suitors and a choice of men. Hold it! Wait a minute! I did have my choice.
Oy! My head cold medication just kicked in. I feel like I'm walking up a hill trying to type at the same time. And yet I'm not moving at all. Talk about your out of body/medicine head experiences. I might start suffering from vertigo in a moment. Yikes!
Bah, but really all of that was me procrastinating on the friending frenzy. Just call me, John "Flip flop" Kerry. ^__________^
Maybe I'm just a prude. Or maybe I'm just asexual! HahahahahahahahahahahaahahROFFLE
~Bas
Is it because I'm going to be married in twenty-two days and will get to partake in that activity? I am obsessing? Or is it society that is obsessing?
I went to read some articles since my friends aren't posting and I still hesitate to add friends that I might woefully ignore! Worthy friends should not be ignored. And I do far too little commenting already! I do read all of your entries! *ahem* But I went looking for things on the interwebs to read. And I found an article chastizing "middle-aged traditionalists" for saying that women aren't enjoying their newly discovered sexual freedom because it has turned women into the predators just like men. I found the writer's wording to be interesting. The man she was chastizing wasn't even labeled a conservative, but rather a tradionalist. It's all symantics after all, but I thought that was a unique choice.
I will never profess to be a researcher. However, I've read livejournals, I've read articles by people my age. The concensus is that good men are hard to find these days. No one pursues their woman like a knight in shining armor. There's no romantic fighting for her love. And I hear these mournful sighs put out to the wind all the time.
Every time I read one of these, I wonder what the woman did to signal to the man that's what he needed to do. I was discussing this with my fiance last night. Obviously, there are some real men out there. I know quite a few actually. One is deathly afraid of women. He wants to get married, doesn't want to be celebate for the rest of his life (that's right, ladies, he's actually managed to stay a virgin his entire life and no he's not a freakazoid), but he doesn't want to be rejected. He's not a social guy. He'd make a great husband. But he can't read women. I feel for the guy. I know he needs some real signals from women, but I know he'll be lucky to find them. Maybe one day he'll develop courage.
It just leads me to wonder what happened to the whole courtship game. It's all about living together and sleeping together before the wedding day with no plans to wed set in stone. Those statistics about people who live together are more likely to end in divorce, you know those? Well that's due to couples moving in together on a "trial basis" and then never moving out because it would be too much trouble to disentagle their history. So the next step is reached instead and eventually someone decides that it would be better to end this relationship than continue, but that's years and years later after misery.
I'm no expert here. I'm just spitballing thoughts and ideas. I'd like to get some things on paper to feel accomplished. Maybe start a discussion, but I doubt it. I read a lot of journal entries and some I just want to argue with, but I just don't want to argue. Debating could be fun, but I don't have the energy to put into really wanting to prove a point.
To the discussion Matthew and I had, we talked about finding the right guy and women wanting the guy to know she likes him and wanting him to do a bit of work and chase after her. Prove his love so to speak. Our conclusion was to give him a signal that you like him, something obvious. And if he acknowledges you, but doesn't act, move on! Find another guy, ladies. Yeah, easier said than done, I know. Still, it would have been nice to have known this. I wouldn't change my past, but I do pass on this bit of knowledge to the current generation.
I like to come from the old school generation. I would have liked to have not been so forward with my thinking. (Is that like a little bit of regret coming from me?) It would have been nice to have suitors and a choice of men. Hold it! Wait a minute! I did have my choice.
Oy! My head cold medication just kicked in. I feel like I'm walking up a hill trying to type at the same time. And yet I'm not moving at all. Talk about your out of body/medicine head experiences. I might start suffering from vertigo in a moment. Yikes!
Bah, but really all of that was me procrastinating on the friending frenzy. Just call me, John "Flip flop" Kerry. ^__________^
Maybe I'm just a prude. Or maybe I'm just asexual! HahahahahahahahahahahaahahROFFLE
~Bas
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-28 03:15 am (UTC)That's about right. *thumbs up*
I might like to get married someday, but I have a hard enough time letting someone claim me as their 'girlfriend'. It's ownership, and by golly, I don't like it.
Dunno what it is about sex. People just seem to like it a lot.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-28 04:42 am (UTC)Anyway, it's ironic that I choose to marry someone who doesn't quite share the same gusto over the subject as I do. He was a virgin right up to 23. He still fears a lot of things about it, namely creating life. So he holds back a lot as he always has. It was his upbringing. I wish I had strength to be traditional about things, but it's something I just can't do.
So many couples are buying houses before getting married. It's simple to judge (like our neighbors, a hem), but we
are saving up to marry. For us, it was a logical decision based on the fact that we believe renting an apartment equates to throwing our money away.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-28 06:43 pm (UTC)Personally, I'm not really for living together before the marriage. And I'm not about sex before marriage either. Not to say that I'm perfect, of course. I've got my faults. But I know what my goal is.
I would go without all previous sex if that were an option. But I do believe that confession and repentence of sin brings forgiveness and forgetfullness.
I can't wait to experience sex in my marriage. I'm really excited about the bond and connection it will build.