basildestiny: (Don't drive angry!)
[personal profile] basildestiny
Was talking to my best friend last night and realized that my LJ may be coming across wrong because I don't always post the good things. Now I know that people will say this is my journal and I can say what I want in it. I will and thank you so much for your concern. I need reminders like that quite often. But I also want this journal to show all of me and not just when I'm needing to vent.

I need to learn to pray better or more frequently or something. My shortcomings in this area have been a sore thumb lately. Maybe I need more quiet time to work toward being better at doing it in louder environments. I need to build up my concentration and focus.

I just wanted to clarify a conversation that I had last night. I realized that whenever someone says this to me, it ruffles my feathers just a little. I need to learn to be more graceful about this and just nod and smile. I'm sure it won't ruffle as much when it isn't close friends who say it to me. The phrase goes something to the point of I'm glad that you found God. I'm glad that you found something that you were missing. I just see it differently and so it tends to bring out a negative reaction from me. It's good that close friends have said this to me though because I'd have more patience with them than with a total stranger. The way that I see is that God found something that he was missing. That something being me. It wasn't that I found Him because I'll tell you that I wasn't looking. I was running as fast as I could in the opposite direction. So I don't want to take credit for something that I didn't have a hand in. I know that sounds cliche, but I guess that's just how it works out for half of us.

So the big announcement would be that we're wanting to move the wedding up to Octoberish. And we've heard what we expected to hear "What's the rush?" Well what's the wait is my question. My stipulation for knowing if Matt was the one for me or not was if we got together, I'd know. We're together so I know. I know our friends and family who ask that mean well. I appreciate it. I would even be willing to wait if we could just get a valid reason for waiting. I know Matt is a shy guy or so I've heard so I can see where the concern would be. But he's not shy around me and we share everything. Even the things that are not so easy to share at first. So it's not like there's some side of him that he's hiding from me. I'm still open to suggestions though.

In other news, my dog bit my mom. That makes my second family member that he's bitten. He may be afraid of women, so Matt thinks. He's definitely afraid of people though. It was incredibly traumatic for me on Sunday. She was going to give him a treat and he had already claimed them as his own and didn't need her to give them to him in his mind. He just chomped her finger pretty good. Nothing was broken which is always a good thing. The dog could have broken bones if he wanted. He was just afraid his treats would be taken. Too bad they aren't his to begin with. So my mom has a friend whose husband trains K-9 dogs and he's offered to help us socialize the fuzzball. That'll be good because I really don't trust him with other people. He's a big dog and other people are intimidate by looking at him. We'll see how this works out.

I need to get my ring sized and I need to look into going back to school. I don't know when I'll have time to do this, but it's what I need to do. I need to start getting up before noon. That will help. But when I'm up until 4 am playing WoW, chances are that I won't be getting up on the early side.

Work is going pretty well. I had to go to another coach (supervisor) to enter my schedule exceptions (changes to my scheduled log in/log out time because we are strickly held to those times). And I got another lecture about my attendence. I'll admit that I was late on Friday. I'm even on a verbal right now. But now there are a total of 10 minutes that I logged in late and that's another pattern. That just frustrates me. I'm working really hard and yet let me give you another lecture. Ugh! I'll be glad to apply for another position. I need to work on some skills so I'll be shinier and more attractive for other positions.

Time to go log back in so I won't be late for "monster queue"
~Bas

PS Shout out to James whom I don't thank enough for listening to my random crazy rantings!

October 2013

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