Pissed off rantings
Sunday, March 14th, 2004 04:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
basildestinyI'm kind of sick of keeping a journal. It's supposed to be theropeutic for me. It really just frustrates the shit out of me.
I'm getting pissed that people keep posting in my journal that a job is a job. Just keep working at that job! You'll make it. I don't know how I could spell it out any clearer that the job is taking my sanity. I hate the job and I don't even have a reason for why I hate it anymore because I've rationalized those reasons into nothing. I have tried that whole a job is a job rationale. And now I don't even know why I hate the job. Logically I realize sitting on my ass all day is not difficult. I don't know how many people have brain jobs, but if you don't it is difficult to sit around all day and use your brain and have thirty minutes tops to move around and relief stress. You know how much recognition anyone receives for doing a job at using your brain? None! I think maybe a 'good job' guys every now and then would be nice. Maybe a reminder that casual days are because we've been doing a good job. Hey, how reassuring does this sound? An operations manager and all of Human Resources were fired on Friday! Hey, maybe the company is restructuring. Well, I liked the Ops manager who was fired. He'd been there longer than I had. It's a contract job. Who here has a contract job? It's not stressful at all. It's not like you have a client to please who can take their business somewhere else. Oh wait! That's exactly HOW it is. How about this one? My customer wants me to get their computer online. Dammit! This problem didn't start until they installed the DSL. But you know what? It's a problem with the computer's operating system. I'd have to go into the registery to fix it. And I'm a representative of this customer's internet service provider. Who in their right mind wants AOL to fix their computer? Why would they expect me to do it? I don't have training on it anyway. But, if I know how, I could do it. If it is truly something caused by installing the DSL, well I can get the customer over to our Advanced Solutions Group, but those guys don't like to take our calls. It's hard to get to know co-workers and make friends? My co-workers work in other locations and I don't even know their names. You'd think getting the customer's bill fixed would be easy. Or how about when the customer needs to register a new username? No, in order to get that done, I have to call the billing dept and trick them into registering a new username. They don't like to do it. And it's not even DSL billing. It's dial up billing. Then I have to call the DSL billing dept and get them to upgrade the username. And guess what else? When I call Billing, they give me their last name. ie This is Mr. Collins. Isn't it strange, from a customer perspective, to call the company you are paying and have to call their service representive such a formal name such as Mr Collins? But I can't fix that. It's another dept completely.
Yeah, I know my job is easy because I get to sit at my desk all day, but don't think that I have no responsibilities or no stress. I don't complain about my job much at all. It's a lot of tech speak and jargon that most people wouldn't understand unless they worked there. So that's another joy of the job. The only people who can understand the stress are people inside. Even when I want to complain about my job with whom would I share? So every call that I take, I forget immediately. I can't stay pissed off at that guy because no one outside of work will be able to understand my frustration. I know I'm always complaining about the job, it's all that I ever talk about--no wait, that's not true at all. I just gotta say thanks for everyone who was a shoulder to lean on when I had my anxiety attack, bout with depression, and episode of OCD all in one day. Thanks for understanding that it wasn't something that I could just get over. I felt like climbing the walls or taking a gun to my head. Your understanding was like a blanket of comfort that pulled me from the dark hole I had sunk into. You were the friend who jumped into the hole with me because you'd already been there and knew the way out. I can never put into words the gratitude I feel.
I'm sorry that's so long. I would have put it into a cut, but I may leave it up as the reason that my journal is private only.
I'll write again, but I'll understand if you remove me from your friends' list so you don't have to see it
~Bas
I'm getting pissed that people keep posting in my journal that a job is a job. Just keep working at that job! You'll make it. I don't know how I could spell it out any clearer that the job is taking my sanity. I hate the job and I don't even have a reason for why I hate it anymore because I've rationalized those reasons into nothing. I have tried that whole a job is a job rationale. And now I don't even know why I hate the job. Logically I realize sitting on my ass all day is not difficult. I don't know how many people have brain jobs, but if you don't it is difficult to sit around all day and use your brain and have thirty minutes tops to move around and relief stress. You know how much recognition anyone receives for doing a job at using your brain? None! I think maybe a 'good job' guys every now and then would be nice. Maybe a reminder that casual days are because we've been doing a good job. Hey, how reassuring does this sound? An operations manager and all of Human Resources were fired on Friday! Hey, maybe the company is restructuring. Well, I liked the Ops manager who was fired. He'd been there longer than I had. It's a contract job. Who here has a contract job? It's not stressful at all. It's not like you have a client to please who can take their business somewhere else. Oh wait! That's exactly HOW it is. How about this one? My customer wants me to get their computer online. Dammit! This problem didn't start until they installed the DSL. But you know what? It's a problem with the computer's operating system. I'd have to go into the registery to fix it. And I'm a representative of this customer's internet service provider. Who in their right mind wants AOL to fix their computer? Why would they expect me to do it? I don't have training on it anyway. But, if I know how, I could do it. If it is truly something caused by installing the DSL, well I can get the customer over to our Advanced Solutions Group, but those guys don't like to take our calls. It's hard to get to know co-workers and make friends? My co-workers work in other locations and I don't even know their names. You'd think getting the customer's bill fixed would be easy. Or how about when the customer needs to register a new username? No, in order to get that done, I have to call the billing dept and trick them into registering a new username. They don't like to do it. And it's not even DSL billing. It's dial up billing. Then I have to call the DSL billing dept and get them to upgrade the username. And guess what else? When I call Billing, they give me their last name. ie This is Mr. Collins. Isn't it strange, from a customer perspective, to call the company you are paying and have to call their service representive such a formal name such as Mr Collins? But I can't fix that. It's another dept completely.
Yeah, I know my job is easy because I get to sit at my desk all day, but don't think that I have no responsibilities or no stress. I don't complain about my job much at all. It's a lot of tech speak and jargon that most people wouldn't understand unless they worked there. So that's another joy of the job. The only people who can understand the stress are people inside. Even when I want to complain about my job with whom would I share? So every call that I take, I forget immediately. I can't stay pissed off at that guy because no one outside of work will be able to understand my frustration. I know I'm always complaining about the job, it's all that I ever talk about--no wait, that's not true at all. I just gotta say thanks for everyone who was a shoulder to lean on when I had my anxiety attack, bout with depression, and episode of OCD all in one day. Thanks for understanding that it wasn't something that I could just get over. I felt like climbing the walls or taking a gun to my head. Your understanding was like a blanket of comfort that pulled me from the dark hole I had sunk into. You were the friend who jumped into the hole with me because you'd already been there and knew the way out. I can never put into words the gratitude I feel.
I'm sorry that's so long. I would have put it into a cut, but I may leave it up as the reason that my journal is private only.
I'll write again, but I'll understand if you remove me from your friends' list so you don't have to see it
~Bas
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-14 02:31 pm (UTC)I stand by my, "Work is work", though. Surely there are things about your job that you DO like. But you're not there to help people, enjoy yourself, or be enlightened. As shallow as it sounds, you're there for the money.
I hope you feel better. Maybe you could look for a new job or something. Something that might not pay as much, but that you'd enjoy. So you won't be going out of your skull. I think it's hard for nice people like you to deal with assholes and stupid politics everyday. Because no matter how much we want to have faith in people, they dissapoint us all the time.
Or maybe Im totally off my rocker.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-14 02:58 pm (UTC)Lately, people at work are immature and petty. There's bickering over desks. Prank playing. I miss becuase I can't talk and this guy just keeps going on and on about how I was faking. He was kidding, but everyone else didn't know that.
I'm there for the money, but I don't care about money. Possessions are not my number one concern. And I don't have anyone to provide for right now. So I've over-analyzed my point. It wouldn't be that bad if there were a few more good things about my job. But there aren't any reasons that I enjoy going to work anymore and the money isn't a big thing right now. So it's all pointing to I need a new job because this one is putting me into a hole.
I've dealt with the assholes and stupid politics for three years. It was just much easier to not worry about that stuff when I could focus on: my talk times going down, assisting my customer to get back online, helping co-workers in their troubleshooting techniques, or even when my boss knew what I was doing right or wrong.
I am going to look for another job. I'm just going to have to stick it out at this current one at least until T has her kid. It'll be awkward to start a new job and then have to take a day off to go film a birth.
Or maybe Im totally off my rocker.
Have you fallen and can't get up?