Donnie Darko

Monday, March 7th, 2005 02:53 am
basildestiny: (JC)
[personal profile] basildestiny
So I finally watched Donnie Darko. I was told that if I didn't find that movie to be weird... I was weird. I figured that since anyone who had ever mentioned the movie said it was weird, that I would find it weird too. Kind of a by proxy, the concensus of odd people that I know. But I completely understood this movie. It made perfect sense to me. That scares me, I will freely admit. And admitting fear is not something I do on a regular basis. I have always been a little paranoid that I might truly and actually be crazy. I'm certain that I am. Of course this isn't crazy in the scary way. Or the hey look I'm crazy so give me attention way. Just that I'm not always on the path everyone else is on? You people who know me understand what I mean. Not only did I understand the movie, but I could see where it was headed near the end.

Kind of intersting that it was a rabbit. Does it have something to do with the white rabbit who was always late in Alice in Wonderland? She went through the looking glass too. Not only did she look into the mirror, but she went through it. There was more, but I took too long getting to the computer to jot them down.

I've felt like there was a timeline sometimes. I've had dreams that made no sense whatsoever and then days, weeks, some time later I find myself having the exact conversation as I had dreamed it to be. And I have to decide if I want to follow the conversation flow as I dreamed or if I want to depart from that path and go in another direction. When my brother died, I didn't have anything like that... but I've always been a little worried that it could escalate into something else. I don't want that. I already have that insane sense of something. Of chivalry. Of Don Quixote's Impossible Quest.

To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unbeatable foe, To bear with unbearable sorrow, And to run where, the brave dare not go, To right the unrightable wrong, And to love pure and chaste from afar, to try when your arms are too weary, To reach the unreachable star, This is my quest, To follow that star, No matter how hopeless, No matter how far
To fight for the right, Without question or pause, To be willing to march, march into hell, For that heavenly cause


Donnie Darko definitely made me cry. That ending is how I've felt sometimes. From the time that the world came to an end until the final credit. Like comfortingly sad music was playing. That everything would be ok, but they would never be the same and oh by the way the world as I know it is ending. And there's no sound. It's just a soundtrack played over the sounds of the world. And could we slow things down just a bit too? If not, that's ok, but sometimes time seems a little slower.

Other people found this movie not confusing or weird right? People that don't just want attention by being weird. I just want to be myself. But Donnie Darko speaks to me. The soundtrack. The everything. Much like American Beauty, right? Much like I related to Fight Club. Or thought Brazil was a pretty funny, yet good movie. Or that Identity disturbed me. Even The Man of La Mancha.

Have I been running from myself for the past five years? I've not wanted to think about my dreams. I've not looked for deeper meaning in the little things. Obviously I've continued to be introspective, but ... I haven't been reading that much lately either. I used to absorb books. Watership Down in fours days in ninth grade. I even had a class period in ninth grade set aside for reading. Perhaps I should activate my brain more? Maybe I should stop being so frightened of being crazy? I think that was really what made me cry more so than the obvious sadness for the loss--the fact that I understood Donnie Darko. He wasn't me for I am not a superhero, but he wasn't confusing or weird.

Life is fluid
~Bas

PS My brother comes home tomorrow.

Date: 2005-03-07 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hobbit-ninja.livejournal.com
I didn't think it was weird, but I found it a little confusing. I had to think about it for awhile after the credits rolled to understand what maybe was happening. I need to watch it again. It is such a good, yet sad, movie.

Date: 2005-03-07 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hobbit-ninja.livejournal.com
ahhh, you're confusing me,lol...ummm,but why does Gretchen's mom disappear? Because of her step-dad? Maybe...I don't know if saving Donnie had an effect on that. Why does Frank save him anyway? Who/what the hell is Frank?! lol..I really need to watch it again

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