basildestiny | (no subject) (Reply)

The search feature of the paid account is actually quite fun. I have found several coworkers whose journals are all public. It makes me want to post on them. I want to say "Hello! Wow, we seem to have a lot in common. You suffer from depression? I used to!" and have a conversation from there. I think that might be fun. But then I realize that I would have to go to work and talk to these people. And you know, I'm incredibly shallow and don't feel like standing up for these people. It could be just the mood I am in right now--that I need sleep. Or it could just be that I am an incredibly shallow person indeed. I've also noticed that people in Oak Ridge who have Livejournals also have a tendency for DDR. My Passion! I would really enjoy having a DDR buddy. Trouble is that a lot of them also happen to be 16. No 16 year old DDR buddies for me, thanks. You may be very nice and open minded, but your parents will gut me in 2 seconds flat! There are many people in Oak Ridge that I feel I could make a connection with them. We could talk about DDR and their depression. What that feels like. Why are they so alone? The whole having a conversation thing. It turns out that I am a very ... conservative person with my friendships. I will be your friend to pull you out of the gutter or push you along or give you any kind of assistance. But if you want to actually know personal things about me? Well you'd better share some with me. I've always guarded my experiences from others and didn't want to share. I can see why I did that in High School. The things that went on in my home weren't things that I wanted to share. I've grown past that now. I'm working on growing past my old views of friendship. I'm learning to giving even when I get nothing in return. I post in my journals as public entries. Anyone could read these and I would be none the wiser. Hardly anyone posts that they've read them. Sometimes a friend from work will mention something that I wrote in my journal. It still kind of stings when something is brought up from my journal and it is taken as fact. It just irks me. My mother is the kind of person who says things like if they cared that much they would ask me. It's hard to get out of that mindset that if someone cared about me, they would ask. What do I care if they ask or not? I don't call around and ask about my friends. I should. I really ought to do that, but it seems like I always have something else I could do other than call and ask about the people I care about. They are a bit like me with being recluses and all that. I'm glad to be moving past that. I am a bit of an ass or a bitch as far as speaking my mind lately. My best friend was talking about how she missed Sydney and I just blurted out that she didn't and just argued the fact. I'm just used to people not liking Sydney and it struck me more like she was saying that out of respect our the friendship I have with her than a real desire to see him. I wanted her to know that it didn't matter to me if she didn't like him. But I guess she could have meant what she said. Also I snapped at her husband (also my friend) when he asked about work. I hate talking about work and I find it hard to believe that anyone would really care about CL to ask about it. But maybe he was just trying to make conversation!

I got distracted from this entry. Sydney wanted to talk about the sign I am getting him. Here's the sign

It is rumored on ddrfreak.com that West Town now has DDR EXtreme (8th mix). To most people that would be good news. That saddens me! I don't want to have Extreme there. I have it at Celebration Station. I think I will pay West Town a visit either tomorrow or Monday to verify this dreadful news. ddrfreak has been known to be wrong. It didn't have Celebration for a while. I really hope the 7th mix machine isn't gone.

-will be a sad panda without trance de janeiro